For the past two days, this little dinosaur has been hitchhiking on my side mirror.
And every time I go back to my car, he’s just chilling on top of the mirror, ready to go.
The dude’s hella confused though. He sees himself in the mirror and tries to attract himself to himself
And sometimes it looks like he fell off …
A lot of the time I’ll start to tell a story and just stop because either there’s something that makes me pause or because whoever just isn’t paying attention.
And 90% of the time, no one notices if I just stop and don’t start again.
It really sucks that I’ve just been saying a lot of words that aren’t being listened to.
I hate when this happens, like why is it so hard for people to just listen?
fat pigeons make me so irrationally angry. how do they fly. why are they fat. can they even read
I’d rather a girl talk nerdy to me than talk dirty to me.
Like, I’m glad that you like being spanked but what I really wanna know who your favorite Doctor is, who you think was the best Star Trek captain, or who you think would win in a fight between Batman and Superman.
Clearly Superman would win. I mean, I love Batman and all but his accessories are no match for super strength.
I really feel like I’m never going to be satisfied with life, or anything I do in life. It is so hard for everyone to understand or maybe I just can’t explain it.
I always want something different, something new. When I was single, I wanted a relationship, when I was 18 i just wanted kids and a family, when I had room mates I wanted to live alone, of course it all flip flops once I have the other.
The only time I have ever actually been 1000% happy was on the road, travelling. Knowing I wasn’t tied down to anything and getting to experience new people, new places and new things.
Don’t get me wrong I love my kids and wouldn’t change being a mother for the world, I just don’t know how to mesh what life I have with the life I want, I know it’s possible I’m just not sure how. I’m not happy working, but I’m becoming extremely unhappy being stuck in my house all the time always ONLY being surrounded by children. I need friends, adults to interact with. But pretty much all I can get out of people around here is partying, and that’s fine if that’s really what makes them happy and what they enjoy doing then awesome but it’s just not for me. Instead it actually suppressed life for me is what I feel like, it was like a numbing drug and I’d rather feel discomfort, fear and pain than not really have any feelings at all.
I just really enjoy new things. I love moving, redecorating, roadtrips and camping. I love meeting new people because despite what so many people say, people are not the same everywhere you go. People in Wichita will go out of their way to be an asshole or try to make you miserable, even if they don’t really know you. I’ve been to way bigger cities and people are actually a lot friendlier. Maybe it’s just the midwest, close minded people I guess I’m not really sure. I just seem to meet phenomenally amazing people in many different ways and they are always from Oregon, Arizona, Iowa shit even some in Texas (of course outside of the states as well) so I really am starting to think it is just the midwest. The shittiest part is, I could move anywhere at anytime but because I co-parent with my daughters father I would have to give him residential custody. He’s not a bad father by any means and of course I wouldn’t worry about her I just feel like me finding my happiness isn’t worth moving away from my daughter even though obviously she could visit anytime and I would be visiting a lot as well being as my family is all here. But on the same hand I feel like I get more and more depressed being here and that in turn just makes me a crap mom, I grew up around that and it’s not exactly the healthiest way to see someone you’re supposed to be looking up to. Depressed and miserable, it ends up turning on everyone around you because you don’t know how else to cope and I will never get back on antidepressants because I’d rather be depressed and bitter than hollow and fake.
Bugh, Idk I just need something. Something needs to change, if only I knew what that something was…
Man idk whats going on with Ronans schedule lately but we definitely need to work on that, he woke up like 7 times throughout the night/early morning. I am a zombie momma and have no coffee 0.0
Finally got ink and paper! Im about to get crazy on chore charts and schedules etc.